women protestors shout slogans against the alleged rape, torture and
murder of Thangjam Manorama by paramilitary soldiers in Imphal, capital
of northeastern Indian state of Manipur, July, 2004. In a highly unusual
protest, some 40 women stripped naked and staged an angry demonstration
outside the Assam Rifles base to protest the death in custody of
32-year old Manorama.
Wedding: A nun officiated the first lesbian Buddhist ceremonial
marriage in Taiwan by marrying You Ya-ting (left) and Huang Mei-yu in
their white wedding gowns in Taoyuan, Taiwan, on August 11, 2012.
Same-sex marriages are not legal in Taiwan which is why the union was
ceremonial in nature.
of the West, please do not be fooled into thinking any system or anyone
on earth can provide justice above the justice the legislative system
Allah has given us. He created us, who better than to know how to rule
us? # Dr. AfiaSiddiqui V.s Anders Breiveik
Shamima Akhtar was attacked by her siblings for kissing a boy on her 18th birthday
They assaulted her and now partner Gary and threatened to kill her
Shamima's sisters and brother were convicted but not jailed for the assault
Assaulted: Shamina Akhtar and her partner Gary
Pain were both beaten up by Shamina's siblings when she first kissed
Gary at her 18th birthday party
Shamima Akhtar has got used to looking
over her shoulder. Walking to work or shopping at the supermarket, she
is watching closely, hoping ‘they’ aren’t following her.
‘I don’t go out much in daylight,’ she says. ‘And when I do, I go to places they’re unlikely to find me.’
a horrible way to live, one made all the worse by the fact that they
‘they’ are 19-year-old Shamima’s family — who terrify her and from whom
she is completely estranged.
Few could blame her, given what she’s been through.
year, three of her siblings — sisters Nazira, 29, Nadiya, 25, and
brother Mohammed-Abdul, 24 — launched a sickening assault on Shamima,
which culminated in her sisters slapping and punching her and hacking
off her waist-length hair.
Shamima’s crime? Kissing a white boy at her 18th birthday celebrations.
this year, the trio were found guilty at Winchester Crown Court of
actual bodily harm in a case that, the jury was told, centred on
‘honour-based domestic violence’. While
her Muslim family embraced certain aspects of Western life, behind the
doors of their detached home in Basingstoke, Hampshire, strict Islamic
The price for contravening those laws can be high indeed, as Cheshire schoolgirl Shafilea Ahmed discovered.
found herself squeezed between two cultures — the Western one, which
she wanted to embrace, and the Muslim one her parents wanted to impose
upon her. Last month, her parents were sentenced to life imprisonment for her brutal murder after she failed to toe the religious line.
fate was not so grim, but her fellow teenager’s story has prompted her
to give her first interview and reveal how she lives in fear of further
reprisals. ‘I’m frightened of my family,’ she says.
‘I don’t feel that what happened is the end, but the beginning.
Whatever shame my family believe I brought on them is now a hundred
severed her links with her old world. Today, she shares a homely two-
bedroom flat with Gary Pain, 23, the work colleague whose kiss prompted
such outrage. It was, she reveals sweetly, their first, and marked the start of a blossoming romance, despite its grim backdrop.
is the one good thing to come out of this,’ she says. ‘I am happy, but
at the same time I’ve lost my entire family and that’s hard. I can never
Her eyes brim
with tears, and little wonder. It is a bewildering state of affairs for a
young woman who, by her own admission, had for many years thought hers
was a happy family.
Born and raised in London, Shamima was the youngest of six siblings raised by Abdul and Jahamara Kalam. Abdul
had come to Britain from his native Bangladesh aged four, while his
wife had arrived here as his bride in an arranged marriage.
Shamima grew up, her father found work running a café and as a taxi
driver, while Jahamara stayed at home to raise their expanding family —
Rugi, now 32, Ripon, 30, Nazira, Nadiya, Mohammed-Abdul and Shamima. ‘We were all close — we got along well and we enjoyed doing things as a family,’ says Shamima. That all changed eight years ago,
however, after her sister Nazira, then 21, fled back to the family home
from her arranged marriage in Bangladesh, having been involved in a
vicious row with her new husband on their wedding night.
Fleeing was an act of rebellion that sparked a year of furious family rows.
changed within the family,’ says Shamima. ‘There were constant
arguments and all the love and affection just seemed to vanish
overnight. ‘I was bewildered. I was only 12 and couldn’t understand why every- thing had changed. In some ways, I still don’t’. Her
own life, meanwhile, was becoming increasingly miserable. ‘No one
really talked to me within the family, and I was ignored. The only time
my family spoke to me was to tell me what I couldn’t do.
wasn’t allowed to do anything — I couldn’t go on sleepovers, school
trips, even to the park after school. I had school friends, but not
proper friends. My life stopped at the school gates and after that I had
no one to turn to. ‘Even if I did, I wouldn’t say anything. I’d been brought up to say nothing.’
Guilty: Nadiya Akhtar, 25, (right) and Nazira
Akhtar, 29, were found guilty of actual bodily harm of their younger
sister but to Shamima's disappointment they got away with a conditional
discharge and a fine
so, at the age of 15, Shamima saved up her lunch money for months to
enable her to buy a cheap mobile phone, allowing her to text the one or
two girls she had become close to at school.
was one small way of asserting my independence,’ she says. ‘I knew I
didn’t want to live like the rest of the family, I just didn’t know how
to achieve it. It seemed impossible.’ Following her GCSEs, Shamima’s parents wanted her to stay at home and help with the housework.
sister Rugi, though, stepped in and got her sister a job in a local
department store in October 2009, arguing that the salary she would
bring in would help the family.
started on a contract, but within a few months I’d not only been given a
permanent job but promoted to team leader,’ says Shamima.
may sound like nothing, but it made me so proud. This was the first
thing I’d done on my own.’ Outside work, however, Shamima’s life was as
restricted as it had been before.
of the family dropped me off at work and picked me up every day. I
couldn’t go to any staff gatherings, Christmas parties, nothing,’ she
says. ‘My family would even come in at
random to check I was at work, and my salary was paid into my mother’s
bank account. I was given just £10 a week of my own. It was suffocating.
I was just a young girl trying to make her way in the world and I felt
As her confidence grew, however, Shamima started to become more daring. ‘I
confided in my manager, who said he would cover for me. My family
didn’t know my exact hours, so I would tell them I was going to work,
then when I got there I would take off my uniform shirt, put on a top
and just have a few hours doing what a normal teenage girl would do —
going to the shops or to the cinema.
Her rock: Shamina says she is 'lucky' to have Gary to turn to unlike many girls in her situation who have no one
‘If my family popped in, my manager would tell them I was in the stockroom and couldn’t be disturbed. It was so liberating.’
Within a few months, Shamima had formed a close bond with a male colleague — presumably precisely what her parents most feared.
His name was Gary Pain, and from their first conversation there was a spark. ‘I
was Gary’s manager at first, and I liked him instantly,’ she says. ‘He
was the first man to express a real interest in my life, and to listen
to what I said. He treated me with respect.’
At the time, however, romance couldn’t have been further from Shamima’s mind. And her family had already made it clear that she would be expected to have an arranged marriage.
just tried to push it to the back of my mind. I still had two older
sisters and thought they’d have to get married first, so I had time on
my side,’ she says. Then, in March last year, Shamima turned 18.
parents had gone to Bangladesh, but before they left I asked if I could
go for a meal to mark my birthday. My father agreed, but said that in
their absence my sisters would act as my guardians and they would decide
the time I had to return.’
intense negotiation, it was agreed that Shamima could go for dinner
with colleagues on April 1, between 8.30pm and 10.30pm, providing only
women were present.
‘They thought they were being generous, but even then, they plagued me,’ says Shamima.
‘I had 22 missed calls and endless texts on a phone they’d bought me so they could check up on me.
got so bad that in the end, one of my colleagues grabbed the phone,
turned it off and said: “This is your night.” I was scared, but at the
same time I felt thrilled, too. This was the most rebellious I had ever
‘We left the restaurant and went on to a bar, so my family didn’t know where I was.’ By midnight, when she begged for her phone back and turned it on, she had countless more missed calls.
‘I answered one call and it was Nazira, screaming down the phone.’
says that despite her own arranged marriage ending so badly, her elder
sister had never shown any sympathy or understanding towards her
said they were coming for me now. I told them where I was.’ Gary, who
had been present, walked her downstairs to the car park and it was
there, she says, that they kissed for the first time.
said “I’ve been waiting to do this all night” and he took my face in
his hands. It was the most amazing feeling ever. Here was someone who
just accepted me for who I was.’
had little time to enjoy this feeling: within moments bright headlights
swept into the car park and her siblings came rushing towards her.
‘It all happened so quickly,’ she says. ‘My brother grabbed Gary by the throat and my sisters dragged me into the car.
punched me in the head as soon as I got in — it was so painful. They
put the childlock on so I couldn’t escape and I heard my brother say:
“We’re doing it tonight. Get the boys. Get the gun.” I was petrified.’
Back in the car park, Gary had been left, helpless, unable to do anything to intervene. Back
home, Shamima was dragged into the house by her hair and thrown to the
floor, where her siblings started to kick her. ‘They were calling me a
slag and a prostitute,’ she says, her eyes flooding with tears. ‘I was
so scared I actually wet myself. I thought I was going to die.’
she would later testify in court, she had good reason to: her brother
came into the room with two knives and a hammer, telling his sister to
choose one to use on her and one on ‘lover-boy’.
only thought was that at least they didn’t know where Gary lived,’ she
says. ‘My brother then said I had to be punished and that my hair must
‘It was my pride
and joy and I begged them not to, but they bunched it up into a pony
tail and hacked it to neck level,’ she recalls. Bleeding and bruised,
Shamima was then forced to sleep on the floor.
to her siblings, however, she did have a secret weapon, in the form of
her mobile phone she had invested in two years before. Surreptitiously,
she texted Gary and asked him to call the police.
locked myself in a bedroom by pushing a chest of drawers against a
door,’ she says. ‘When the police came, I was so relieved I cried.’
siblings were arrested, while Shamima was taken to the police station
to give a statement. She has never been home, or spoken to any member of
her family since, though her parents have texted her asking her to
‘How could I after everything?’ she says. ‘I don’t want to see any of them ever again. ‘When
I left the house that day, I didn’t look back. The police managed to
get some of my belongings, and I went to stay at a friend’s house.’
She later went to live with Gary and his mother before the couple finally got a place of their own earlier this year.
the meantime, she has had to endure the difficulty of a trial. She gave
evidence from behind a partition, but still struggled with the process
of testifying against her family.
felt very alone, even with Gary looking after me,’ she says. ‘Each of
my siblings had their own barrister, so I was questioned over and over
again for six days. I just wanted it to be over.’
after three weeks, the jury returned its verdict, rejecting the charges
of false imprisonment, but finding the two sisters guilty of actual
bodily harm and her brother guilty of assaulting Mr Pain.
Shamima admits she had hoped her siblings would go to prison. Instead,
when sentencing them, Judge Guy Boney told them he would treat them
leniently, giving them each a conditional discharge and a fine.
felt like the equivalent of a slap on the wrist,’ says Shamima. ‘I
couldn’t have asked for more from the police, but part of me felt like a
fool. I wanted the judge to send a message to families like mine.’
by agreeing to speak out she is doing that herself. Her hope, she says,
is that people can understand the difficulties of young women like
her, caught between two worlds.
‘I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I just want people to know this is going on behind closed doors,’ she says.
some ways I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve got Gary. But there are
hundreds of girls like me out there who have no one to turn to.’ (Dailymail-UK)
பெண்கள் கற்பழிக்க படுவதற்கு காரணம் என்ன என்று நாங்கள் ஓட்டெடுப்பு
நடத்தினோம்..ஓட் டளித்த அணைத்து நல்ல உள்ளங்களுக்கும் எமது நன்றிகள்.
அதிகபட்ச நபர்கள் பெண்கள் அணியும் அரை குறை ஆடை தான் என்று ஓட்டு அளித்து
இருந்தார்கள் இன்று நாம் நிறைய இடங்களில் பார்க்கிறோம் பெண்கள் அரை குறை
ஆடை அணிந்து தான் வருகிறார்கள் .பார்க்கும் ஆண்களை சபலபடவைக்க இதவும் ஒரு
காரணமாகவே அமைகிறது .அதற்க்கு நாம் செய்ய வேண்டியது ஒன்றே ஒன்று தான்
உன்னுடைய வீட்டை சுற்றமாக்கு நாடு தானாகவே சுற்றமாகும் அப்படி அரை குறை ஆடை
அணிவது நம் சகோதரியாக கூட இருக்கலாம் நாம் பிள்ளைகளாக கூட இருக்கலாம் .
முதலில் அவர்களுக்கு வீட்டில் ஒழுக்க நெறிகளை சொல்லி கொடுத்து வளர்ப்பது
நமது தலையா கடமை இருக்கிறது . வீட்டில் தந்தை அண்ணன் ,தம்பி , மற்றும்
வீட்டில் உள்ள பெரியவர்கள் அனைவரும் இருக்கிறார்கள் அவர்களை மீறி எந்த
பெண்ணும் அரை குறை ஆடை அணிவது இல்லை முதலில் நமது வீட்டில் உள்ள பெண்களின்
ஆடை கொஞ்சம் ஆபாசமாக தெரிந்தால் கண்டிப்பாக கண்டிப்பது நமது கடமை .அதை
விட்டு விட்டு அவர்களை நாம் அரை குறையாக ஆடை அணியவைத்து ஷாப்பிங்
மாலுக்கும் பீசிக்கும் ,படத்திற்கும் அழைத்து கொண்டு திரியும் நிறைய தாய்
தந்தை இருக்கிறார்கள் அவர்களை பார்க்கும் போது தான் அரை குறை ஆடை அணியும்
பெண்கள் மீது தவறு இல்லை அவர்களின் தாய் தந்தை சகோதர்கள் மீது தான் தவறு
என்று தெள்ள தெளிவாக தெரிகிறது .
இவர்கள் தன்னுடைய சகோதிரிகளை
அரை குறை ஆடை அணியவைத்து எப்படி அழைத்து வருகிறார்கள் என்று தெரியவில்லை? உண்மையில் சிந்திக்க வேண்டிய விசையம் தான் நம் தமிழ் நாட்டில் இன்று தாவணி
என்று சொல்லுவார்கள் அப்படி என்றால் என்ன வென்று கேட்கும் அளவிற்கு போய்
கொண்டு இருக்கிறது . இன்று நிறைய சகோதரிகள் சுடிதாருக்கு துப்பட்டா அணிவதே
இல்லை கேட்டால் நாகரிகம் என்று சொல்லுகிறார்கள் எப்படி வேண்டுமானாலும்
வாழ்வது வாழ்க்கை அல்ல இப்படி தான் வாழ்வது என்பது தான் வாழ்க்கை . பெண்கள்
அரைகுறை ஆடை ,இறைவனின் படைப்பில் பெண்கள் ஒரு அழகான படைப்பு ,இன்றோ
பெண்களின் சுதந்திரம் என்ற போர்வையில் நாகரிகம் என்ற போர்வையில் பெண்களை
போதை பொருளாக கண்பிப்பது இதற்கு பெண்களின் இயக்கங்கள் மௌனம் சாதிப்பது இது
தான் பெண் சுதந்திரமா???
இதுவும் ஒரு பெணிற்கு எதிரான விபசாரமே
அதுவும் corporate விபச்சாரம் ! இன்று பெண்களின் நிலை என்ன நாகரிகம் வளர
வளர பெண்கள் பாலியல் கொடுமைகளும் ,கற்பழிப்புகள் அதிகமானது என்று சொன்னால்
மிகை ஆகாது ! இதிலிருந்து உடை கட்டுபாடும் இது போன்ற குற்றங்களை தடுபதற்கான
ஒரு வழி என்பது நிதர்சனமான உண்மை . இன்று மத்திய பிரதேசத்தில் ஒரு சட்டம்
இயற்ற பட்டது பெண்களின் மீது acid உற்றினால் 3 லட்சம் அபரதாமம் ! என்ன ஒரு
கடுமையான சட்டம் ,இந்த சட்டத்தை இயற்றிவர்கள் மீது தான் முதலில் acid எரிய
பெண்கள் கற்பழிக்க படுவதக்க்கு அரைகுறை ஆடை மட்டும்
காரணமாகவும் எடுத்து கொள்ள முடியாது . இன்று நாம் தொலை காட்சிகளில் நாம்
குடும்பத்தோடு பார்க்க முடிகிறதா முகம் சுளிக்கும் வனமாகவே இருகிறது .தந்தை
பிள்ளைகளோடு தொலை காட்சியே பார்க்க முடியவில்லை இன்று சாதாரண
விளம்பரத்தில் கூட ஆபாசம் தொலைகட்சியே திறந்தாலே ஆபாசமாக தான் இருக்கிறது .
கிரிக்கெட் ஐ .பி .எள் . விளையாட்டிலும் கூட ஆபாசம் தேவை
படுகிறது .பெண்களை போதை பொருளாகவே பயன்படுத்துகிறா ர்கள் இதை எல்லாம்
பார்த்து மக்களின் மனம் மரத்து போய் விட்டது .உடை கட்டுப்பாடு இருந்தாலும்
பெண்களுக்கு எதிரான கொடுமைகள் சில காமவெறி கொண்ட கயவர்களால் நடந்து கொண்டு
தான் இருக்கிறது இவர்களை தண்டிக்க எப்படி பட்ட சட்டம் இயற்றலாம் ???
கடுமையான சட்டங்கள் வராதவரை இது போன்ற அனச்சாரங்களுக்க ு முடிவிற்கே வராது
இதை படித்து விட்டு உங்களுடைய நண்பர்களுக்கும் பகிர்ந்து கொள்ளுகள்
உங்களுடைய கருத்துகளையும் கம்மன்ட்டில் தெரிவிக்கவும்.